Drama at the Starbucks

Ok. Finally, the drama at the Starbucks got to the point where I just couldn't keep up via Twitter. I needed time/space to write decent descriptions and keep the conversational flow going. For the record, all this happened at the Starbucks at the corner of Central Avenue and U.S. 41 in Naples. I can highly recommend it for people watching.

Here's the backstory. Twitter status updates start HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE.

Long story short? Blond girl came in with her friend, ranting about her man, whom she thinks is cheating on her, because he messed up big time and apparently sent HER a cell phone text meant for another woman. DUDE. Seriously. The blonde has kicked off her shoes and is curled up in one of the big SBUX recliners and is going to town on her iPhone. She's texting like a champ to her man, all the while complaining to her friend, who doesn't even look up while texting to her OWN man - who's apparently loyal.

The whole time, Blondie is hacking up a lung and going on and on and on about her antibiotics and how she takes pills five times a day and is apparently wants the entire world to know about her entire medical history. I'm six feet away and it is like she's screaming into my ear. I can't help but hear.

That's the background. We now pick up the story.

The blonde girl is now pontificating on why she's sick all the time. She got an audience now. Her friend, some random woman with a latte and some poor dude who wandered in while she was hacking up a lung. At first I thought he was her boyfriend, but he sat down at a table in the corner to nurse a venti something or the other.

I hate to tell her, but she's sick because she's wandering around Starbucks without shoes on. I've been watching her for about half an hour and she's not once worn shoes while walking to get her drink, go to the bathroom or the condiment bar. This is like the Britney Spears Cheetos in the gas station bathroom episode, live in living color. I gotta admit, sometimes, in the summer, especially when I'm wearing sandals, I'll take my shoes off for a second in Publix and stand on the tile floor. Cold feet make your entire body cold. But I don't run around public spaces with my shoes off for hours at a time.

Now she's telling everyone about her last trip to the ER. This other random woman is giving advice about "just take some Albuterarol (sp?) and that will clear it right up." I doubt it. The blonde girl has a hacking cough that sounds like a lung is about to come up. Hack. Text. Hack. Text. Hack. I wonder if Starbucks sanitizes its chairs afterwards?

The level of crazy coming out of this bunch of people is amazing. Amazing. Blondie is whipping out her cell phone every four seconds to check for text message from her man, grimacing and then banging away at the keyboard on her iPhone telling him to text her back. I would hate to be on the receiving end of those text messages. Mr. Wonderful is in for a major helping of angry girlfriend whenever he comes up for air.

They're packing up to go to out in search of burritos and Mr. Wonderful. That's a loaded sentence if I ever heard one. Good luck girls.